It’s been a crazy week. Trying to get to the root of my friend with dementia’s personality change, while not overstepping the boundaries of friendship and the acknowledgement that I am not family.
So, I took her for a haircut. And paid for it since she’s hidden her wallet and can’t remember where her debit card and ID are stashed. While I will get reimbursed, eventually, from her family in Canada, it still takes a lot of diplomacy to not want to shake the life out of her relatives who neither understand the intricacies and expenses of managing her long term care needs as her dementia progresses, and who aren’t here to handle paying for things my friend can no longer pay for directly due to the tricks her mind is playing on her to increase her paranoia as she loses more and more of her personality.
Anyway, I told you all that to expand on my spoon theory posts as I work to meet all my commitments while battling exhaustion.
Spring’s normal warmer weather is making me happily more active, but it’s also increasing my exhaustion as I try and do more in the better weather.
So, after a surprise call from one of my many cousins this morning, I was exhausted, chilled to the bone (despite an ambient temperature outdoors of 75 degrees or so) and went back to bed to try and warm up.
My plans to try and clean my friend’s assisted living apartment had to be cancelled as it was no longer safe to drive and my energy “spoons” had been used up for the moment.
Into this comes the well meaning but busy body Mah Jongg hostess, Gladys Kravitz, who decided to drop by unannounced to discuss the skipping of our next Mah Jongg playing session.
Needless to say, it was quite ballsy of Glamorous Gladys to give me the head to toe hairy eyeball after dropping by without notice and waking me up. Clearly, Gladys was put off that it was 1:30 in the afternoon, I was still in my PJs, and hadn’t yet gotten dressed or groomed to start my day…
What was really shocking, though, was to hear her wonder aloud as she left my home as to when or if I was in the process of cleaning or moving… not a kind nor a helpful comment when someone is not my intimate and is more of a friendly acquaintance.
While she has a right to her opinion, I was shocked that she said it out loud !
Yes, my driveway contains items which need to be sorted through and disposed of, but if I’m not asking her to pick up my mess, then she should keep her mouth shut !
Just be kind, ok? You don’t get to decide someone else’s priorities for how they sort through getting rid of or rehoming the treasures of a lifetime.
Meanwhile, I’m grateful she didn’t notice the other work in progress areas in my yard…