Not to malign the folks that get their rocks off being “adult babies”, but having dealt with surgical repairs to my nether regions since childhood, I can assure you that incontinence is no laughing matter. Nope. Not even remotely sexy. 👀
So, having had my first urinary tract or bladder surgery at 5 years old, and being traumatized to the point of being tied down for days in the hospital because I removed (whatever) equipment or catheter post surgery because it hurt, I can assure you that I am no more likely to opt in for helplessness post surgery as an adult just because the loss of control bodily functions is back.
No one tells you that, in addition to talking your quality of life by making you feel like a junkie testing your blood sugar daily, or multiple times a day, the disease of diabetes may take your quality of life through neuropathy. In my case, the neuropathy that sets my feet on fire and keeps me in pain when trying to sleep has decided to attack my internal digestive tract nerves, adding to my daily joys by worsening my genetic weakness and gifting me with both urinary and fecal incontinence.
Absolutely not willing to have bladder or sphincter surgery as I age, as I still have nightmares over the original pre-surgery tests where they laid 5 year old me down on a table and filled me with liquid until I peed myself. In front of an audience. So not sexy. Never mind so not anything I would willingly endure again, even though I survived the tests the first time AND have the PTSD memories of the humiliation to prove that embarrassment won’t kill me. Even if the memories try their best to haunt me, and the daily incontinence worries steal my joy.
As the diabetes has apparently attacked the nerves for the rear door, too, it has become necessary to have multiple sets of clothing and either never leave the house each day until I’m sure I’m emptied out, or go without eating if I want to get anything done.
The pandemic and shuttering of many public restrooms has worsened my sense of anxiety in terms of leaving home, and I’m using fasting as a way to regain some illusion of control. Otherwise, I find myself looking for a convenient bush, driving like a maniac to make it home before I lose control, or, getting home only to lose control walking up the stairs into my home, or as I enter the bathroom.
So not anything I’m willing to explore to try and wrap my head around the realities of my incontinence as a fun fetish. It may be seen as a way to adjust to the realities of my failing quality of life, but I am not willing to go there. 👀
Incontinence is so not sexy. 👀
I am not a fan of the concept of “life at any price”. And, the worsening incontinence issues also cross yet another quality of life boundary for me.
While I can wear a catheter on the front end (itchy ! ouch !), as far as I’m aware, there is nothing similar for the back end.
Adult Diapers in the form of “Depends” abound, however, I cannot abide that scratchy material against my skin, nor do I want to deal with unnecessary bulk underneath my clothing.
Having watched the memes and verbal abuse of our Ex President 45 include the issues of whether or not he wears Depends, I know how brutal people can be in terms of verbally abusing each other over their vulnerabilities. Having my body speculated upon for whether or not I wear incontinence products is not high on my list, either. Especially when I keep the Stay Free folks in business already, trying to protect against a predictable failure of my body.