I can’t tell if I’m lazy or tired.  I can’t tell if I’m the source of the problem, or if forces beyond my control are holding me back and limiting me.


Every day, it’s a challenge of positive thinking and trying vs. very real exhaustion and pain, plus limited financial resources.

Today’s the day my 2016 taxes were supposed to be done in order to comply with the law and get my refund.

Well, I missed that deadline.  Despite working on my  taxes with great intent since December.

…Is it my old nemesis, Laziness?

…Is it my “You’re not the boss of me!” reactionary thinking?

Today’s spoon theory above is contrasting with the, “Achievers do this” meme, below:


While I know I’m willing to embrace change and fail in order to make progress in my life, I’m finding I have zip for “staying power”.  While I do accept full responsibility for my behavior, what does that mean in the bigger picture of my exhaustion causing me very real dollars in terms of handling my responsibilities?

No idea at this point, but since I’m sitting here writing a blog instead of getting on with life, I’m voting for some sort of laziness and ennui bolstering my very real exhaustion as demonstrated by the spoon theory / battery life poster:


When you’re on vacation, there are distractions to keep your adrenaline pumping and driving you to keep up.  At home?  When I’m chilled and trying to find my motivation?  Nope.


Today has now become a new chance to clean up an old mess or failure.


2 thoughts on “Spoons

  1. Um, 2016 taxes? Do you mean 2018 taxes? I get it about the spoons, and I embrace that analogy for explaining my lack of progress most days…I’m too tired or too ill to accomplish much, Don’t beat yourself up too badly for living a life which contains ennui and/or procrastination. I happen to think that those are safe guards that we fall into (unconsciously) because our body realizes there is no viable juice in the batteries and it wants to conserve what there is so we can function, even a little. And sometimes the psychological impact of tasks (like doing tax returns) is draining on the batteries too, so again our subconscious employs what tools are to hand. Good luck and I hope your return is massive (but some hopes huh? Not with T-dump in office). 😛

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nope, I meant 2016. The law says that you have 3 years to file if you don’t owe money, and that failure to file within those 3 years costs you any refund due. This one is going to cost me money.

    If I calculated my withholding correctly, I should also be due refunds for 2017 and 2018. Of course, one cannot do 2017 or 18 until 2016 is done first, hence the procrastination…

    Got dishes done (finally) last night after 3 days of trying. Still need to do laundry, et al, and yet I’m sleeping the day away. This whole, “must nap after sleeping” is wasting my life. I need it to hurry up and get warmer so that I have a fighting chance to get stuff done.


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