No choices.

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My life is like this gorgeously fudgy and sugary slice of goodness.  Perfect in the moment, even if you might regret your choice to fall off the sweets wagon later.

While I know my diabetes is signaling a ramping up of my body to get it closer to the finish line as my tired old lungs wear out, I really find it hard to take the food restrictions seriously.

Yes, I’ve upped my proteins and reduced my carbs.

Yes, I monitor all my foods in light of the glycemic index, even though it doesn’t seem to make much difference in my overall health.

But, at the end of the day, if I want a 400 calorie slice of heaven, I will have it.  In place of meals, I will have 2-3 in a day, if I’m so inclined.  After all, if I’m falling off the wagon, I’m diving head first.

Not smart choices, but certainly my choices.

Anything I do or don’t eat isn’t changing the outcome, or even delaying the inevitable, so I’m sticking with my choices vs. no choices.

4 thoughts on “No choices.

  1. Ah. Welcome to Diabetes…the later years. I know you haven’t had (well weren’t diagnosed) that long ago with this horrid disease. The attitude of ‘aw phooey’ usually shows up later on. But who says? The restrictions of the diet they (professionals who don’t have diabetes) say is the most healthy for us poor sufferers, can be restrictive. And I doubt the professionals who wrote the guidelines ever dealt with our particular generation…raised (some of us) on ‘unhealthy’ food our entire lives. I mean Twinkies? C’mon. Wonder Bread (which was white bread, which now is touted as a bad type of bread to eat), coca-cola and soda of all types, Chef Boy-ar-dee, that nasty (to me) ‘Chinese’ that comes in a can, all kinds of pickled, preserved and full of additives food. We grew up eating it. OF COURSE our bodies didn’t come out the other side entirely healthy. And some schmuck born in 1980 or later is telling US what is the right choice? Ha, ha and ha.

    I meant to comment when you wrote the post about metformin, but I don’t think I got to it and later forgot. Metformin (which I hope you were able to get, if it was helping you) didn’t work for me. Made me so ill that I finally stopped it on my own. I felt better, but the diabetes worsened. Most of the chemicals they’ve forced upon me have done little or nothing.

    Diabetes isn’t (IMHO) a one size fits all disease, and certainly isn’t a one cure fits all disease. I think in the future, just like has happened with ‘autism’ (under which, apparently, they lump everyone these days) there will be found to be a huge spectrum on which a person with diabetes might fall under. And how it’s treated will have to be tailored to fit the sufferer.

    Again our generation are pioneers. We are the guinea pigs showing the doctors the way. So if you want cake, I say eat it. Have two slices if you want. Because to me? WE know our bodies best. We have to live in ’em. If one listens carefully, the body tells us what is required.

    Just my fifty cents as usual!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I always welcome your 50 cents – wonderful to hear from you.

    I am managing well on the Metformin (it’s helping eliminate the liver pain, and I hope reducing the cirrhosis. We’ll find out more, later).

    The problem is that the doc didn’t want to put me on the Metformin (we had the whole, “I’m the doctor, I’ll decide the proper treatments” discussion), and then she changed her mind and agreed that Metformin might have some benefits. The problem now is that she has forgotten those earlier conversations, and now wants to treat me like my only problem is diabetes, and expects me to get under 6.0 for an A1C. Seriously? So not happening.

    As for the f*ck it attitude, it comes and goes, depending on my day. I’m most well behaved, but when I’m starving and craving something, I need to eat it or I will end up eating 3 times as much crap, AND STILL give in and have what I was craving in the first place. Crazy, but that’ just how I roll.

    I’m sorry the Metformin didn’t work for you. I know it’s not for all.

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  3. Actually your roll is pretty similar to my roll. I KNOW I’ll binge on something ‘bad’ if I don’t quell the craving, so I usually eat whatever I want. That A1C business is annoying on a world class level. Who says EVERYONE MUST have an A1C below 6? Maybe our systems aren’t designed for it. I know that when I get a blood sugar reading under 200, I feel like hell. I’ve been told “Oh you just need to give yourself time at the lower sugar levels and you’ll feel normal.” Um… No I won’t. I was totally strict with myself when I was first diagnosed. Eliminated almost all sugar from my diet, drank diet soda (because getting off soda? Ain’t gonna happen), flipped around. My sugars still ran on the high side. So phooey. As I say “not one size fits all” in the cure department. People are just too different INSIDE to make that feasible. I hope you feel better as you stay with the metformin regime. They told me it would level out to normal, although it never did.

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  4. I don’t feel badly until I get in the 90’s. Then I begin to get the shakes and lose my ability to control my bad attitude, so I know it’s time to eat, even if I haven’t taken a blood glucose reading. I actually had (mostly) given up soda around 2012, long before I was diagnosed with diabetes, but I will say that the 95 calories is one of my go-to sugar sources if I’m running errands and fall below 100. (I usually have jerky, M&Ms and rice krispy bars in the glove compartment to help me keep to the straight and narrow).

    Daily, my goal is to have 2 meals and fast and keep my food intake under 2,200 calories. Some days are 900 calories. Some days are 3,000 calories, and there’s never a rhyme or reason as to why some days are better than others for tolerating ANY food I’m able to get into my system.

    My weight rarely changes more than +/- 10 lbs regardless of what I eat, so I tend to approach it as the game it is, since I cannot tolerate vegetables or fruits in my diet.

    Hugs to you, as I know the doctor arguments are pretty frustrating and pointless.

    Have you ever seen the TED Talk for the endocrinologist whose body was a temple, and he didn’t have a change of understanding about what his patients were going through until he came down with T2D himself? It’s pretty good.

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