Enabler ?


Crap like the meme above, supposedly blessed by a Christian faith, does NOT take into account someone on the margins of mental abilities.

As I wrote in yesterday’s post:  Busybody-Friend

I was off to check on a friend who had fallen off the radar.  While things weren’t as dire as I anticipated, they were still awful.

– Electricity shut off (non-payment of bill)

– Drinks and things needing refridgeration outside in a cooler (WTF)

– Sleeping all day and going out at only night due to high daytime temperatures (but, now a safety issue)

– Rent increased by another $100 a month, month to month

– Phone misplaced somewhere in the dark apartment (which could have been aided by opening the danged levelors)

While she appeared to be ok, I learned that she’s been falling a lot, and that someone had sent the police to do a wellness check about 3 weeks prior (her extended family, I presume).

Also, her paranoia has increased, and she was talking nonsense about hanging out and having conversations with Kelly Ripa and Michael Strahan, the female cast of Ghostbusters, and that Grace Slick is her new bestie.  Sad.  Confusing.  Frightening.  Sad.  I’m just a swirl with my own challenges on that topic of mental health breakdown or failure to cope causing a mental health breakdown.

When I asked her how she got to these venues, she had no answers.  When I asked her if she might have been hallucinating, because Michael Strahan had been off “Live! With Kelly” for months, she just shook her head.  When I asked if it was possible she was spending way too much time watching you tube when she wasn’t feeling well and might be hallucinating, she thought it might be possible.  But she was also sure she was having conversations with these folks.  Her friends.

Incredibly sad.

Then I come back to memes like the one above, and I have to ask – seriously?!!!

I have no answers along the lines of a chicken and egg theme, for knowing whether living as she is is making her mental health challenges worse, or if she wouldn’t have mental health challenges with proper access to care and medicines and food and liquids.

I’ll do what I can by researching mental health and well being advocates for elders, but I’m not going to hold my breath that she gets the consistent help she needs as she is unable or unwilling to participate in helping herself.  It’s criminal, the benign neglect she’s suffering.

3 thoughts on “Enabler ?

  1. Dr. Cloud generalized. Not a good thing, particularly if he’s a doctor of the mind. I know you understood the meaning behind those words – that we have to struggle to grow stronger. If someone does our struggle for us, we weaken and eventually die. We need the fight to make us strong enough to survive.

    And none of THAT covers the situation you’re talking about. Sometimes help is necessary because the individual (the egg or the chicken) struggling is too far gone to help themselves.

    Your story also highlights the woeful lack of places for people like your friend there. They need to be in care, they can’t afford it, insurance won’t cover it, doctors won’t see patients without their fee. I’ve said before, in my opinion anyway, Trump’s agenda is to see all the baby boomers die. Thus making things more ‘affordable’ for the rest of America. It’s really sad. Thank God you were there!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Just put a check in the mail to cover July’s rent (thank heavens I have more bonus money coming!). Hopefully, if she agrees to what do what we discussed – paying her rent early, every month, once she receives her social security check, she can stay ahead of the wolf at the door and avoid the $50 penalty fee she’s currently paying every month because she can’t pay rent sooner than the 11th, making it late.

    It was also frustrating to have her there / not there about her bills, and arguing that a $65 a month cost for an iphone was beyond her budget. She just won’t hear that she’s living beyond her means, and her paranoia for being willing to accept help from any mental health agency means that she’s doing without.

    The closest thing I can link this to is trying to help a drug addict, when they just won’t give up their drug of choice.

    *THIS* This type of thing is exactly why I have a plan for euthanasia documented as part of my final wishes. I neither wish to be a burden to anyone else in my extended family, or my friends, and I don’t want to be locked up to be at the tender mercies of a Nurse Ratched.

    Trump and company like him have been trying to justify allowing me to die of benign neglect since I reached an age where I needed to be able to care for myself. After all, it’s “God’s will” that I be forced to suffer in this world. Or some crap along those lines.

    I don’t come to this topic with an unbiased viewpoint, so I’m just glad that I had some spare cash to make it better, even if it’s pointless in the longer term.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And you see clearly the drug addict scenario aspect to this situation. A person cannot help another who is addicted (drugs, alcohol, lifestyle choices, neglect) unless the addict wants to change. If they don’t, it’s pissing in the wind. I feel a blog post coming on about the rigidity of those idiots who set exact dates for payment of something, when people in fixed income situations don’t necessary get paid according to the schedule of the one they’re obligated to. It chaps my non-existent nads..

    Liked by 1 person

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