This blog follows upon a stream of thought blog I recently read:

You are not cost effective.  Please die.


I’ve been juggling the budget, trying to stay on top of my necessary vs. optional expenses.

…Heat = necessary.

…Food  (especially staying within the diabetes guidelines) = semi-optional.

…Medications = to be determined (necessary, but what can be juggled?); optional.

With the start of a new calendar year, the rollercoaster of what is and is not covered, as well as how the deductible calculation is performed, begins anew.  Unfortunately, the needle has moved me back into the “expendable” category.

Of course, it’s been alarming to find that Trump will now allow people with pre-existing conditions to go back to their “unprotected” state for insurance coverage*.  But, the bulk of my adult life has been about hiding my medical condition, and getting by with none the wiser about how much down time I needed to recover when not at work.

While I have had a good time in life (don’t pull out your violins yet), I can directly relate my lack of savings to the fact that I have covered all out-of-pocket medical expenses due to my pre-existing condition with real dollars, too.

When an average month or quarter includes an extra $1,000 or more in expenses that your insurance company refuses to cover – you know, those folks that sell you insurance through your employer – you don’t need to have an expensive habit like drinking or smoking or going out to clubs to drain your savings.  You just need to be busy living your life to find that the fact you were repaired as a child gives you a life-long bill that you will be repaying for the rest of your life in order to survive.

Which brings me to the current situation.

I went to the endocrinologist (doctor) for review of my diabetes situation.  Its complicating my COPD care, and it’s important that I stay on top of what’s going on.  When booking the initial appointment, I was told that my initial appointment would be between $110 and $180, and was then given an initial bill of $854 !

While my shylock insurance company says that their coverage should make my bill a “mere” $669.10  (nowhere near the $110 to $180 that I was originally told to expect for costs), it’s still a cost that I didn’t accept prior to incurring the

So, we’re barely out of January, and I’m already $469 in unexpected debt for services.  So, now I have to cancel the April appointment, delay payment further for services while writing a letter to explain why, AND wait to perform the necessary medical maintenance tests.

Clearly, I’m expendable as one cannot get blood from a stone.  If one is on long term disability, meaning that one cannot work, then one should also be covered by medicare, and not have to wait two (2) years beyond the time they were certified for long-term disability before qualifying for medical care.


*Can’t find the executive order wording to back this up, but it was in an article talking about his rolling back of the “enforcement” portion of the existing ACA (Obamacare).


2 thoughts on “Expendible

  1. I don’t know if this is something that would be acceptable to you, or if it’s even an option in your area of California, but try to find Community Health Centers in your area. They offer low-income (or no insurance) health care coverage for a reasonable fee. I used to work for them here and that’s who I’ve relied on during my whole disability circus no insurance, low insurance, no money dance. They are federally funded and while that’s sketchy at this present time (if they’ll get the grant money to carry on or not), it’s a way for you to tend to your health care without dying from the stress of OMG I don’t have the $$$ for this … and they also can offer (sometimes) discounts on medications. It’s far better to pay $15 for some ‘necessary’ drug than $150, right? I don’t know if this is an acceptable alternative for you or even if they’re in your area, but if so, look into them. Might be helpful.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. It’s absolutely an acceptable alternative, however, I haven’t found one yet (and I’ve been looking). Planned Parenthood always supplemented my medical care when I worked (I believe in voting with your dollars, too, for funding the places that provide subsidized or free care) the problem is that I’ve aged out of their system, and they don’t do diabetes care (beyond gestational diabetes).

    I very much appreciate your suggestions, though, and appreciate the kind thoughts,


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