Resilient

passages  via Photo Challenge: Resilient

I was thinking about what I wanted to say in terms of “Passages” all week, and dropped into this site to find the photo challenge of the day was “Resilient”, which I think talks more about what this past year has been comprised of in terms of daily ups and downs.

As I’m preparing for 2017, I’m still in the middle of my battle for health benefits, and fighting to keep on living even though my world is getting smaller due to COPD.

I’m like Don Quixote, battling windmills of frustration put in front of me by the lawyers fighting my case, as well as my employer.  But, at the end of life, I have nothing but time on my hands so I might as well continue the good fight to do things the way I think best for me.

While off work, I have done little of what I hoped to be able to do to supplement my income.  Unfortunately, I’m not allowed to work per the lawyer.  And, I can’t fight my lawyer on this issue until my employment status is resolved.  Catch-22 much?

One of the things that being on the www.mycopdteam.com website has brought to me this year, though, is a very strong reminder of how well I have it when compared to others fighting this disease and related end of life / “shrinkage” of life issues.

I am not largely dependent on others for any of my daily care needs.

My body hasn’t completely betrayed me in terms of being able to putter along at my own pace in my own space without supervision or assistance.  (Being hovered over drives me mad, and having to be ready to welcome someone into my home would be really aggravating / anxiety producing).

I’ve been able to downsize my home.

Reduce my expenses.

I was lucky enough to find a way to live on a very tiny budget while still having plans for the future.

I’m only trapped in my life if I look at it that way.  Trapped.  Not trapped.  Not trapped wins.

So, I prefer to look forward.  Anticipating my challenges to remaining independent possibly  fixing themselves.  To being able to travel, no matter how humbly, and to get on with the business of living as my world gets smaller and smaller.

Automated or self-driving cars are coming closer to fruition (please, let’s have that happen before I’m forced to give up my license).

Medical consultations via Skype or other facetime applications are happening.

I’m hopeful that there will be options for me to care for myself in my own space as my world gets smaller and smaller.

Today’s choice of “resilient” for a photo image relies on someone else’s (uncredited) image of Stonehenge at dawn.  I’m planning to get there in 2017 in June, so it’s the embodiment of “resilience” for me.  Looking forward, and planning fun things despite the challenges.

Yes, I’m resilient.  I hope you are, too.

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