Daily Prompt: Pretend

via Daily Prompt: Pretend

Oh, the timing on this one was perfect.  I’m likely to be fired from my disability case because I won’t pretend to be less well than I am.  I am busy trying to be the best that I can be, every day, as to stop moving is to die.  It’s just that plain and simple.

ladyinrockingchair

As one of my favorite movie lines goes, “Nobody puts Baby in a corner”.

Well, that’s how I feel about being told that I have to pretend to be less.

Less well.

Less capable.

Less vital, as my life slowly slips away with my energy levels, my congestion increases as my lung function declines, and I’m told that I must just sit and exist by people without a medical degree, and who have ZERO idea about the hills I’ve already climbed, never mind my impatience for failing to try.  There is nothing more boring in life, than sitting around. But adding in a need to play act unwellness?  Crazy.  Never going to do it, or I would have never gotten this far in life, despite my birth defects.

Frankly, if I have to pretend, then I’d rather do without (whatever it is that you want me to pretend about in order to obtain the goal).

fail-with-honor

In the words of one of my favorite self-hazardous people, P!nk:

“Try”

Oh oh

Ever wonder about what he’s doing?
How it all turned to lies?
Sometimes I think that it’s better to never ask why

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Eh, eh, eh

Funny how the heart can be deceiving
More than just a couple times
Why do we fall in love so easy?
Even when it’s not right

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try

Ever worry that it might be ruined
And does it make you wanna cry?
When you’re out there doing what you’re doing
Are you just getting by?
Tell me are you just getting by, by, by?

Where there is desire
There is gonna be a flame
Where there is a flame
Someone’s bound to get burned
But just because it burns
Doesn’t mean you’re gonna die
You’ve gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try
You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

You gotta get up and try, and try, and try
Gotta get up and try, and try, and try

No, I’m not being smart.  No, I’m not keeping my eye on the main chance, $$$, and benefits that I am owed because I worked for 42 years and paid into them while fighting to pass for normal and hide my disability.

After 4 car accidents, 2 of which caused major damage and necessary repairs to my car, I’m tired of lying to myself.  I can’t pretend I’m able to pass for normal any more.  But, I also can’t pretend to be dead.  As long as I have breath in my body, I’m going to try.

One thought on “Daily Prompt: Pretend

  1. *clappy hands* I’m glad you refuse to be put in a box labelled “Non-functioning”. It’s inspiring. I’m encouraged that you continue to fight against those who would cheat you, even if you don’t ‘win’. You’ll break ground for the person behind you and the one behind them. A precedent. And maybe, just maybe you will win. How glorious that would be! I just had a reality check of my own with someone who apparently ‘pretends’ and it’s not a good thing. So reading this helped lift some of the immediate sting and hurt of finding out somebody you trusted is a fraud. Thanks sweetie!!

    Liked by 1 person

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