Choices

Trying my hardest

Very frustrated with the lawyer this week.  It seems that my lawyer is no longer with the firm, and no one bothered to tell me.

Thereafter, I was working on my declaration for the final appeal of my benefits for matching salary, and I set the cat among the pigeons.

Apparently, I am “too well” or “too busy” to be on disability according to my latest lawyer (from that same firm), and I was warned as follows to cease and desist in order to have them keep on representing me:

“There is simply no way to explain away your current level of activity.”

“Your level of activity is problematical for you and your claim.”

“To be clear, your level of activity is in no way incompatible with disability itself, or with COPD, or any disease for that matter.  What I am saying is that your activities in no way fall within the definition of disability in the LTD policy, and no amount of acrobatic rhetoric will convince A**** (or a Judge, if we are forced to sue) otherwise if it otherwise comes to light.”  

There was more along those lines, but the basic upshot was:

“Again, I understand your situation, but you have to make a choice.  Either hire people to do the work – even if it means acquiring some debt now – or give up your LTD claim now and risk losing your other disability benefits which will undoubtedly put you in a worse financial situation in the future.” 

My efforts at wellness through Halo therapy for dry salt inhalation, as well as getting plenty of rest and hiring workers to help me with the rehab of my mobile home were not enough expenditure of monies to show that I couldn’t do all this work myself, and that I was hiring experts where funds permitted.  Aggravating, but we’ve been coming to this point since I first got the “letter of activities” from the law firm in May that put me over the edge in terms of unrealistic restrictions.

halotherapy-or-sea-salt-therapy-room

I will ALWAYS choose to try.

I will ALWAYS show up and try again after I’ve been knocked down.

I will NEVER quit and be kept down.  It’s just not in me.

So, for the sake of my own sanity and self-respect, I am refusing to be cowed.  Stupid, I know, but actions have consequences, and that’s just how I choose to roll.  I will not be coerced to sitting in the chair, waiting to die (and which will kill me faster) simply because some bureaucratic pinhead has an unrealistic view of life.

Must be that I’m still all fired up from watching, “Sully”, and knowing that I’m a line-in-the-sand kind of gal for setting limits and not being pushed beyond endurance.

Anyway, as I sit here coughing up a lung this morning, resting, and trying to get ready to go on with my day, my decision has been made.  Here’s what went back to the lawyers:

“Good Morning (paralegal administrator):

I am just seeing this now.  

If Mr. R***** chooses to fire me as a client, that’s his call.  

As for me, there are ZERO funds left to complete the repairs.  I have used all of my savings to hire experts to complete the necessary work.  With the help of hired workers and friends, I am doing what I have to do for moving to a less expensive home and finding a way to survive while I figure out how to rebuild my life despite being on disability.  My disability is real and exhausting, even if it falls within the context that Mr. R***** finds unsupportable for proceeding with my case.  

I am not quitting on him, and I won’t be injured because I’m being very careful (as I have been all my life) to conserve my energy and succeed despite the very real challenges of breathing and living.  

Please let Mr. R***** know that I will respect whatever it is that he decides to do regarding my case.”

I know that pushing back is stupid, but I’ve got to do what I’ve got to do.  Presuming that he will follow through on his intent to drop me as a client, I guess this means that Friday’s horoscope is more accurate than I could have possibly known.  At least, if they follow through and fire me (my employer, that is), I’ll get access to my 401K and we’ll see what kind of “great severance package” they are going to hand to me, as alluded to in their last 4 letters.

libra-blessings

C’mon… sing along with me:

P!nk:

Never win first place, I don’t support the team
I can’t take direction, and my socks are never clean
Teachers dated me, my parents hated me
I was always in a fight cause I can’t do nothin’ right
Every day I fight a war against the mirror
I can’t take the person starin’ back at me
I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
LA told me, “You’ll be a pop star,
All you have to change is everything you are.”
Tired of being compared to damn Britney Spears
She’s so pretty, that just ain’t me
Doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me somethin’
A day in the life of someone else?
Cause I’m a hazard to myself
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else
Doctor, doctor, won’t you please prescribe me somethin’
A day in the life of someone else?
Don’t let me get me
Don’t let me get me
I’m my own worst enemy
It’s bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don’t wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

2 thoughts on “Choices

  1. Channelling P!nk today, are we? 😉 I was going to say “get a different lawyer” before I fully understood that the asshat currently sitting in ‘your’ lawyer’s chair is trying to do that to you vis a vis not representing you. Um. Fuck him and the horse he rode in on. He’s far too stupid to be handling sensitive cases that require diplomacy and a delicate touch. Damn that makes me angry. And them not letting you know the first choice (or the one assigned to you first) had left the building?? So not professional. That firm has issues apparently. Since you’ve been COPD challenged (well had breathing and health issues) your WHOLE DAMN LIFE, I’d use that as an additional weapon in my arsenal to get mouth breathing dimwits to UNDERSTAND YOUR SITUATION. Of course you cope and seem “well”, you’ve been practicing for 56 damn years (well almost..it isn’t your birthday yet, is it?) You know how to do the “I’m just fine” dance perfectly. Oh my God. My most sincere, heartfelt sympathies.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Thanks. The biggest challenge is that he’s sat on his butt since May, waiting until I began pushing him, to draft the appeal. So, he’s run me out of time, wasting 5 of the 6 months set asside for the appeal process.

    When the other guy – the actual human being – was there, he said they’d write the appeal whether or not I hired them or they decided not to take my case. With this guy? Who knows what’s going to happen now?!!

    So, now it’s another wait-and-see game to figure out if he’s going to dump me and what that means to the timeline I’m facing.

    No matter what happens, it will all work out.

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s