I don’t have a lot to say right now because I’m frustrated and trying to keep myself in check so that the anger doesn’t turn into pointless despair and / or depression.
I know things will get better given time and healthy movement (vs. sitting like a sloth), as cleaning / movement are very healthy outlets for anger and frustration.
Right now, I’m trying to motivate myself to go to the YMCA, and yet I’m still sitting here, “thinking” about it.
I generally don’t like to consider myself an angry person, yet anger seems to be my go-to emotion when frustrated or stymied by an unresolvable situation.
The therapist told me this week that I’m an angry person and left it at that. Seriously? Could you expand a little more, as I’m just not seeing it as a problem that shapes my life.
On the things I can’t change or control, I try to write it off to help clean it out, especially if I can’t change it. Purging my emotions to exhaust myself of my anger has been my solution for years and years. So, can you expand on your thoughts a bit more, please?
Do I have something I need to work on, or work on in a different manner? Expounding on your thoughts would have been good, as I’m sitting here chewing on my own tail and it’s not pretty.
Add into this weeks events the neighbors from h*ll, the Bickersons, alternately cooing and fighting, and blasting Eminem’s rap music when they are starting their days…
Then, the topper, to be called on the carpet by the lawyer for writing a note to my boss in Germany – AFTER he told me to do so – because it was too detailed, too demonstrative of my ability to function at an executive level – and I’m just tired. Tired and frustrated. Handicapped is not incompetent.
Trying get my handicapped status confirmed when it’s a worsening birth defect is particularly challenging, as I’ve spent my entire life hiding the effects of this disease and trying to pass for normal. So, needless to say, I hate having to deal with being vulnerable to the point of game playing because that’s just not how I roll.
At this point, I’m going to take my own advice and head for the beach to clean this garbage out of my brain. Skip the YMCA for now. Recharge my batteries. Hope I find something pretty to photo in my explorations to help recharge my batteries.
I hope you have a good day wherever you may be.