Choosing the Journey

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Tomorrow, I go for my first talk therapy session to see what’s going on in my head.  The timing is great, as I’ve received my rejection for employer-paid disability benefits.  I’ve also been spending the day researching alternative therapies, and been surprised at the costs being quoted.

In my case, I have my first month not working under my belt, so I’m also looking for some guidance about whether or not my greed (to obtain my profit sharing and partially-vested RSU’s) is worth listening to as part of my battle, or if I should be planning to move on and find a better job, more suited to my particular circumstances.  I’m really struggling with leaving financial considerations on the floor, as I fight to determine if I should be quitting work entirely.

Ideally, I’d like to be able to work (as I love the independence and freedom a steady paycheck brings), but I want to enjoy my work and be able to slide expectations to the back burner if I’m having a bad day.

I’ve gone back to exploring freelancing options such as TaskRabbit to see if I might be able to fit their schedule, and still earn a decent paycheck if I choose not to go back to my current employer.

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From my perspective, I don’t want to go back to my parent company, as the environment is a cesspool of stress and unrewarding activities for whch I have zero passion or enjoyment beyond loving the grear paycheck.

It may be a daydream or even a pipe dream, but I wonder if something like O-Desk might be a decent option for freelancing without tying myself into a regular paycheck.  Then I see a posting for what amounts to $2.25 per hour for data mining work and know that everyone (and not just me) appear to have lost their minds.

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So, no answers here.  The journey continues, and it will be interesting to see how it will all turn out.

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