It’s not much in the way of a frustration-tamer, but setting my thoughts about other’s behaviors to a beat and playing it as theme music in the back of my brain works wonders for soothing and calming me during stressful times when I can’t listen and doodle.
If I ever had to allow someone inside my head, however, they’d see how truly chaotic the daily thought trails are for keeping me functional and humming along. Crazy !
After yesterday’s debacle, though, I’m determined to get through the day with a better attitude, and a theme song usally helps.
As a kid, I was often told to sit and be quiet. To just accept what was happening because I had no choice. The next medicine or surgery was going to fix me right up, and I just had to be patient.
When you’re an adult, though, you don’t have another interceding on your behalf to back up your truth and handle all the nasty paperwork and pay the related bills like there was in childhood. Then, it was enough for me to exist and endure. Now, it’s not an option.
While I would give everything to be with my Mom again, I know that childhood is lost, and that I need to put on my big girl panties and suck it up.
However, it’s clear that the loss of editing abilities on this particular post is also working against me.