Downhill… is it an option?


I know that many people suffered for their art.  That they did without in order to accomplish a goal.  That they endured the battle for benefits.  I just don’t know how they did it.

I just can’t see my being able to allow my life to go downhill (sacrificing all that I’ve rebuilt from 2012 to now) in the hope that it will get better.  Seriously.

I can see that I have to keep on trying, however, as I’m awaiting my first 401K loan, it’s getting much scarier than it was when I was simply reading my employee handbook and trying to figure out how to make my life work while slowing down.

Today, I was arguing / ranting at the HR representative about the dual and competing plans for managing sick time, vacation, etc., where NOTHING is tracked for my particular division, as we’re operating under our original policies, and EVERYTHING is micromanaged for the parent company.

As I had to apply for a 401K loan, I learned that they were going to take out $65 per paycheck to repay the loan over 60 months or 60 pay periods (it’s never clear). So, to buy myself some time I talked / ranted at the HR rep today that I needed to be able to claim 1 vacation day per pay period until my claim was resolved so that I could be sure not to default on the 401K loan – the only thing that was keeping me afloat while the insurance company drags its feet.

Then, I had to deal with the idiot insurance company Agent, who is now chasing my optometrist and my endocrinologist for additional test results and information… even though the problem is primarily with my lungs.

Is it too over the top to get angry with the bureaucracy and wish that there was a patient advocate who could work through all this crap for me?  I pay an accountant to handle my taxes.  I pay a doctor when I need medical care.  Why can’t I pay someone to handle my disability claim application – without first waiting until I’m listed as “disabled” and fired from my job or my claim is dismissed?

I swear to God, I’d much prefer to work than deal with this nonsense.  Anyone have ideas about jobs I can do at home?  My latest thought is to work on an internet survey paying $300 for participation.

I won’t get rich off that $, but it’s something coming in…

3 thoughts on “Downhill… is it an option?

  1. I’m APPALLED at all this. I’m watching your story unfold and thinking to myself that you’re being %$#@ without a kiss or even a thank you. I don’t understand California law because in Utah they do allow you to obtain representation before you file…(well you do the paperwork and give it to the representative). BUT, that was in 2011 and I understand the world has moved on. Still. I’d contact disability (at medicare) and find out what the guidelines are for earning while you’re waiting for your claim to be processed. In fact, if you can find an actual human that you can meet with to go over this shtuff, I’d do that. I can’t believe that they could meet you in the condition of your health and still hem and haw and allow that p.o.s. ‘insurance’ company to screw you around like that. Wow.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Part time jobs abound (apparently)…temp services are always looking for typists or that kind of job. But I’m worried with your level of health about this being a viable option. And your doctor won’t kick some ass for you?

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My doctor and I agreed along time ago that we don’t like insurance companies. If you actually need the benefits you paid into, they don’t want to help you get them.

    Just called to make yet another appointment for next week ($ ca-ching!) and my only choice is to go back to work for my current employer (negating my in process claim) or sitting and stewing.

    Since I’m still and employee, I can’t go work for someone else, but must spend down my 401k in an effort to survive, and in the hope that, once this process is done, I’ll get my paycheck retroactively to replace the money I took out.

    Oh, and because I’m still employed, I can’t simply cash out my 401k, eliminating one level of stress.

    Thanks for your kind thoughts, though. I just have to endure and hope I’m not shooting myself in the foot.


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