2 thoughts on “The Man You Call Dad, Is Not Your Father

  1. What’s that quote: “Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a DAD.” Biologically as long as the boys are swimming, anybody with the requisite XY in their genetic makeup can father children. All it takes is a sample of sperm or some one on one time with a willing female. Society (IMHO) has it wrong…there should be stringent tests before people are allowed to procreate because the CHILD is the one who ends up suffering when the grenades explode.

    What do I think of her choice? It’s something I’d have done if I’d been in her shoes. Why does the kid need to know about the ugly parts? When he is old enough, he will figure it out for himself without needing a visual. It allows her to heal too.

    I fully agree that the man who takes the time, who raises the child is the FATHER, DAD, POP, OLD MAN whatever the nomer is. It’s the guy who CARES.


  2. Well, I disagree. Not about anything you’ve said, but about the hiding of the truth.

    Even the author said she’d blurted out something she knew about a cousin, who hadn’t known her own secret. That’s a horrible way to learn part of your story.

    I think I’d be telling the child, “You got a new Daddy. Someone who loves you and chose us to be a part of his life.” from this moment onward, before the child understands the meaning of the words, so that she’ll grow up like an adopted child, aware of the word long before she understands its connotations.

    I think a child chosen in adoption (as their creation story) is much better off than a child who see’s their birth certificate for the first time and only then realizes they’ve been lied to.


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