I blogged for many years someplace else. Being a scarred woman, as well as a scared one, I never bothered to date as I didn’t want to deal with the risks.
Don’t get me wrong – before I reached adulthood, I played my share of “doctor” with the other kids, so the curiousity was there. I was healthy in terms of my interest. But I was also cautious. Very, very cautious.
Watching the violence meted out through sexual situations around me (a tale for another day), worries about pregnancy, and fear of dying (since I was trying my wings in the early 80’s, just as the drug frenzy of cocaine was slowing down in the mainstream, and AIDS was appearing), I was in no hurry to jump the fence and get real with another person once childhood was done. Way too risky, and way too many potential emotional pitfalls.
I was a combination of old-school, “Not before marriage”, and “good girls don’t” plus, “I’m never getting married, so why should anybody care what I do/did with *MY* body” to, “Yes, I can. It’s my right as an equal of men to be just as opportunistic”.
Nothing particularly deep in my thinking, but also not driven by any biological imperatives that I could see to take foolish risks as Mother Nature tried to ensure I used my body for its intended purpose – pregnancy. Just wasn’t going there with my medical history.
I had many conversations with my Mom and her best friend about my plan to wait until I was, “At least 40, so that the men will have calmed down. And so that I don’t have to worry about the risk of kids.” I actually stuck to that schedule and didn’t begin dating until the internet increased my options to find other like-minded people from the safety of my home. Thank heavens for the internet !
The last 10 years have been a nerd’s dream come true for learning how to take risks while also limiting the emotional spiraling out of control as my rioting hormones were firmly in the drivers seat of an otherwise risky adventure.
I tried Match.com, BBWchicks, eHarmony, ad nauseaum, until I lucked out in finding a dating site that had an incredible blogging component as part of its framework.
Don’t get me wrong – I’m still the conservative, ‘weigh all the risks first’ person I am in the real world – but I was on an adult site where anything went in terms of the members choices to connect and observe were encouraged. Designed by slutty nerds, that site was the best in terms of blog publishing.
So, having left that place to come here (blogville isn’t any fun when the Summer is over and everyone’s left town), am I the only one amazed and frustrated at how poorly designed this site is for encouraging interaction?
How can it be practical to type a comment when one can only see a few words? We don’t all live to tweet, limiting ourselves to 120 characters in a comment to a thought-provoking blog…
But wait, it gets crazier:
Once I go through the gyrations to mentally lay out the paragraphs blindly to ensure there is appropriate spacing and word balance to allow digestion of the content of the comment without everything being crammed into a single paragraph of whatever crazy size, there’s no ability to edit ! (Not good for someone with oxygen deprivation, whose internal RAM is shrinking daily as the old mental computer is winding down toward the scrap heap).
While I’m not a linguist or a member of the grammar police, it would be nice to have more user-friendly options while participating in the give and take of comments on this site to allow for the eye-appeal of a well-crafted layout, and spell-checking, PRIOR to launching a comment.
Does it really break the tool if I am allowed to edit / polish my thoughts when playing within the COMMENT area of this site?
Oh, and I have paid to play at the other blogging site – it was how I got my dates – through the power of intellects attracting. My being on that other site wasn’t just about two people with an irresistible urge for bumping uglies. So, if these “reasonable and necessary” editing features are only available for paying WordPress members, please let me know.
Unlike Wimpy, I will happily pay for my hamburger today – provided it gets me what I want for condiments.
Any experience or feedback on how to address the nitpicks with this site are gladly welcomed and appreciated.